The reality/expectation conflict is often caused when people judge themselves not by their own standards but by the standards of somebody else. Whose standards are you measuring yourself up against?

People often measure themselves up to their parents’ standards or their community’s standards. They compare themselves to their neighbor or their siblings. This leads to the uncomfortable stress some people have of trying to realize an existence that deep down inside they don’t really even want for themselves. What’s a way to avoid this cause of stress?

Take a tip from Albert Einstein, “Try not be become a man of success, but rather try to become a man of value.”

Really think of what kind of life you want and focus on that. Not everybody’s definition of success is the same. Find your own and measure yourself against that. How?

Well, it’s not by listening to the latest “success” guru. Pursuing fame, money, or career goals often come at a high price. It’s up to you to figure out if it is worth the trade offs.  Timeless lines from the great W.B. Yeats comes to mind:

The intellect of man is forced to choose
Perfection of the life, or of the work,
And if it take the second must refuse
A heavenly mansion, raging in the dark.

Isolate what’s most important to you and figure out what you’re truly working for. Write down a few things you value most in your life. Follow up with a goal related to each of your core values. Just doing those two things will move you closer toward realizing your goals and values.

Measuring your success by your own standards will sweep stresses out the door or, at the very least, it will put those little stresses in a more appropriate context. After all, success really about achieving fame or fortune. When people think of success, it is often in the future tense. However, true success is found in the present.

Success is found by discovering joy in the present moment through doing things that bring meaning to your life.

It is true that the farther we are from nature, the more stressed we can become. Whenever I feel stressed, I usually seek out nature.

One of my favorite ways to reconnect with nature and decompress is to visit our nearby park. The main thing I like about this park is the peculiar white goose that hangs around with the gaggle of Canadian geese.

It’s been about 5 years since I met this goose and he is by far my favorite creature at the park. I don’t know why. Maybe it is because, like this farm goose, I live a life surrounded by Canadians. Both my mother’s side and father’s side of the family is from Quebec. I know when I hear all their squawking that the gaggle must be trying to convince that white farm goose to root for the “Canadeins” instead of the Bruins.

I think my respect for that goose goes deeper than that though.

That white goose reminds me of chiropractic. It sticks out from the rest. And, like the white goose at the park, it is a bit misunderstood.

From afar, people often mistake this white goose for a swan.  From far away, he does have a swan-like appearance. This is especially true when he is sitting in the water. However, after one trip to the MSPCA Farm in Methuen, you would realize that he is not a swan but a white farm goose.

Like people who matter-of-factly refer to that farm goose as a swan, people who have  no personal experience with chiropractic will often matter-of-factly refer to chiropractic as solely about back care and injuries.  However, you know different.

You know that chiropractic is about more than just slipped discs.

Unlike you, people without a personal chiropractic experience fail to recognize chiropractic for what it really is – a way of maximizing overall health through minimizing obstructions to the flow of nerve impulses throughout the body.

As a person who has experience with chiropractic care, you are in the position to clear up some of that confusion about chiropractic. Next time you hear somebody say “Well, I don’t have any back pain. I don’t need chiropractic care”, you can explain what chiropractic care is really about.

And next time you see somebody talk about that swan that hangs out at Riverside Park, you can let them know that he’s really a farm goose. Life on a farm may have been too contrived for this goose. Maybe, like chiropractic, he was seeking a more natural way of living.

You should too.

Reduce stress by getting back to nature. Receive chiropractic care, one of the most natural forms of health care around. Enjoy your local park and especially those geese. They’ll be heading south before you can say “Duck, Duck, Goose.”

Worry and regret are about the two most useless emotions we humans have. These emotions act as black holes sucking up all the good and light in our lives.

Regret for the past is futile because, unless you’re Marty McFly with access to a DeLorean powered by a flux capacitor, there really is no way to fix the past. You have to take the lesson from the past and just move on because the only thing you will cultivate from holding onto regret is stress.

Worry, unlike regret, involves the future. Worrying is the most bizarre thing because you are just borrowing trouble that may not ever be yours. Sometimes worries freeze you into inaction. Worry reduces your quality of life by limiting your choices out of fear. Worry boxes you into a corner. When you are in a corner with limited choices, stress moves in.

Worry and regret are alike in the sense that they both divert your attention from the present.

Life can only be truly enjoyed in the present moment. Being in the present moment is what the goals of yoga, breathing exercises, and meditation are all about. There is a reason why those activities release endorphins, relax people and reduce stress. It is because these activities keep you focused on the present and by doing so they leave no room for worry or regret to rent space in your mind.

So next time you feel stress closing in on you, ask yourself if you are truly in the present moment or are you just being sucked in by the black holes of regret or worry.

Now I ask you. What feeds YOUR soul?

If you can’t answer that right away, then maybe that is a hidden source of stress in your life.

As humans, the pursuit of our dreams feeds our souls.

Langston Hughes touches upon what may happen when you don’t feed your soul by pursuing your dreams:

What happens to a dream deferred?

Does it dry up
like a raisin in the sun?  

Or fester like a sore--
And then run?  

Does it stink like rotten meat?
Or crust and sugar over--
like a syrupy sweet?

Maybe it just sags
like a heavy load.

Or does it explode?

There is not one good thing that results from not pursuing your dreams.

Think of the most stressed people you know. Think of the most cynical people you know. I’m willing to bet there was a dream somewhere in them that got deferred.

Think of the happiest people you know. Think of the most optimistic people you know. They may not have actualized their dreams but they are probably making steps each and every day to get closer to those dreams.

It’s never to late. Stress can’t keep up with you when you’re busy pursuing what feeds your soul.

For the most part, finding positive people is easy. Being a positive person myself, I generally think most people are positive, uplifting and energizing in some form or another.

Now, my rational side knows that not 100% of people out there are like this.

You may have an acquaintance, work associate, or a even family member who is not so positive, uplifting or energizing to be around. In fact, some people can be downright draining. You may know a David Downer, Cameron Complainer, Max Manipulator, Donny Drama, or a Stephanie Stir-the-pot. (Yes, I did have too much fun naming these fictional characters.)

Because of guilt or some form of masochism, there are people subject themselves daily to negativity.

Unfortunately, they don’t come with fun names like Greta McGuilt, Mark McMeddler,  Gary Gossiper, or Andy All-About-Me. And it’s a good thing that it doesn’t take one to know one.

We have all heard the expression that you teach people the way you want to be treated. Well, it is true. If you want to live a low stress, easy-going, enjoyable kind of life, you have to eliminate or at least reduce the presence of any negative forces within it.

True, it is easier said than done.

You can try nicely to communicate your needs to the people in your lives. If that doesn’t work, step two is move on.

After all, you can’t stop a rainstorm. You just have to get an umbrella or seek shelter. It makes no sense to just stand there and get drenched. What’s your umbrella when   tropical storms of Cory Crisis-Creator, Negative Ned, or Cathy Controller strike?

Simply refuse to react to, get sucked into, or dwell on negativity. Focus on the positive things in your life and put your energy toward those things. Any small interaction you do have with Negative Ned, keep it upbeat and positive. When Stephanie Stir-the-Pot comes into your kitchen, close the cabinets. If David Downer appears at your back door, let him out the front door.

In short, spend more time doing the things you enjoy with people that are positive, supportive, respectful to you, and enjoyable to be around.

Life is too short and your health is too precious to subject yourself to the effects of negativity.

The happy side effect of this is that when you teach people the way you want to be treated by not subjecting yourself to their stormy weather, they just may get the big idea and change their forecast to sunny.

So, there you have it. Neutralize negativity in your own thoughts and it your life in general. Increase time spent with positive people, and see stress levels plummet.

Art is provocative. It stimulates the mind. It’s social. It unites people and gets them talking about issues larger than themselves. Art touches on the commonality of human experience. It helps you see old things in new ways. That is the reason you often find art classes at rehab centers or as a component in group therapies.

They say art imitates life. That’s only part of it.

Art is life. And the cool thing about that is that art, like life, is everywhere.

Art, in its many forms, should be observed, viewed, participated in and enjoyed because it has the capacity to inspire the intellect, lift the spirit, affirm life, and stimulate physical activity. It brings a certain balance and perspective to things. That, my friend, reduces stress. Next time you’re stressed, try art.

Boston is blooming with amazing places to discover art. But you don’t have to go into Boston to find art. Go local.

You can admire art at various art studios throughout Lowell. Our favorite is Western Ave Studios. You can catch a ballet at Merrimack College or University of Massachusetts at Lowell. Acting Out Productions of Lawrence offers great classes and puts on clever local shows.

Essex Art Center also offers reasonably priced classes and hosts exhibits that are usually free and thought provoking. The Lawrence Public Library, through the White Fund, regularly hosts complimentary classical music events put on by distinguished musicians from around the world. The Methuen Library has a local group of poets that meet up to brainstorm and share their poetry. They welcome new members throughout the year.

Once you start participating in art, you’ll meet all sorts of creative people. We have great friends who are insightful photographers, musicians and even a master glass maker. Another good friend of ours runs a theater company for kids.  Honestly, our artist friends are the most optimistic people we know.

Spending time around art and artists is a great way to decompress.

So, once you become a patron of the arts and develop friendships within the arts circle, the next logical step is actually creating or performing art yourself. Each and every human has emotions, experiences and insights to share with the rest of humanity through some art form or another.

Once you open yourself up to your inner artist, you may just close yourself off to stress.

And remember: you don’t have to go far or spend a lot of money to experience or participate in the arts. So, next time you feel stress creeping in, give the arts a whirl.

Stress causes many problems. It’s a sad fact that many job and traffic related accidents are due to increased stress levels. Many illnesses are not accidental. They are often caused by or exacerbated by stress. These effects of stress can be expensive. Very expensive.

You pay for stress through lower energy, more illness, more medical procedures, and wasted time. This time wasted on stress could be better used on something more productive like doing an activity you enjoy, working out to improve your health, or eating better.

Too much stress can also lead to escapism through abuse of alcohol, prescription drugs, and overeating. All too often these methods of escape only cause more stress in the long run.

Stress does not paint a pretty picture. In fact, stress can get downright ugly because, like a gremlin, it creates up on you insidiously and before you know it, it multiplies. So, how do you stop this cycle of stress from producing giant gremlin-like consequences?

Look for its cause. You don’t have to look very far for the causes of stress:  job,  family,   neighbor, or even your schedule. These are just some of the things that may be increasing your stress level. We know what the formula is for increasing stress but what’s the formula for decreasing stress?

Avoid the causes of stresses which can be avoided. For the stresses that are not unavoidable, change your reactions to those stresses. Sounds simple enough but how do you go about actually implementing that formula?

Participate in our “Strides Against Stress program”

Because stress has such a detrimental affect of health and wellness, we will be publishing a series of posts on stress reduction from now until November 13. Since the issue of stress is so problematic, it can’t be adequately addressed in one or two blog posts. And overwhelming you with a lengthy blog post on ways to relieve stress, will only cause more stress.

Where does your participation come into play?

Check in with us via our site from time to time from now until November 13. If you participate in our “Strides Against Stress” series by trying some techniques featured and contributing your comments to the discussion, you can reward yourself at the end of our “Strides Against Stress” campaign by attending our celebration.

On Wednesday, November 13, join us for our “Holiday Stress Send-off” celebration at the Methuen Library from 7-8pm.

The holidays are approaching and with that comes a lot of unnecessary stress. However, if you start reducing your stress levels today by participating in our “Strides Against Stress”campaign, you won’t have to binge on holiday eggnog, fruitcakes, or New Year’s bubbly.

What’s the first step?

Well, that will be divulged in next blog post. And, for Pete’s sake, don’t stress about when that next blog installment in our “Strides Against Stress” series will be published. That’s my stress not yours ;-)

I spent Friday night at the movies with a friend and I needed to break a $20. So I thought I’d just get a small soda. Soda is a “sometimes” beverage for me. I think I have one soda every three months. After tonight, I’m good for about 6 months because THIS was their small.

A giant $4.75 cup of corn syrup. Yum.

Was it opposite day? Not to my knowledge.

How can this even be legal? How can they even call this a small?

I can’t imagine drinking that amount of anything while sitting down doing nothing for 2 1/2 hours.

If the government is serious about improving people’s health, they ought to start mandating what companies call a “small.” You can’t label something one thing and give people another.

It’s frustrating that cinemas serve all this unhealthy food and then prohibit people from bringing their own food into the theater.

That’s the last time I go the cinema hungry.

I should know better. Planning is everything. Next time, I need to have a better plan. What’s your plan to overcome the desert of healthy choices at the cinema?

You could hide food in your purse like your Great Aunt Nellie. You could eat before or after the show. Those seem to be the only options and I hate it when my options are limited. Don’t we all?

Slowly, the food industry is responding to society’s quest for healthier choices. Why haven’t the cinema’s reacted to this growing need for healthier choices other than offering Dasani bottled tap water?

I don’t intend to stop going to the movies. Do you?

If not, let’s brainstorm ways to solve this dilemma.

Our children fight over who gets the last piece. Both kids are big fans of avocados but our son is the biggest avocado fan. Avocados were the only solid food he wanted to eat from 9 – 18 months of age.

With all this avocado intake at the Berard House, I’ve become an expert at finding the “just right” one. Not too hard. Not too soft. The end of an avocado should feel like the end of your nose. (I always bring my nose to the supermarket. It’s quite handy.)

Let me warn you, the hard avocados take forever to ripen. My kids can’t wait forever. It is torture for them to see an avocado in the kitchen and not be able to eat it right away. It is even more torture to eat an unripened avocado so don’t even try it.

What do I do with an avocado once it’s ripe? Well, I hardly ever make guacamole out of it. The kids love to just eat them cubed. I put them in sandwiches, salads, or salad dressings.

For a creamy salad dressing, I put a spin on a salad recipe from the “Body by God” whole foods cookbook:

• 1 avocado mashed
• 1 tsp honey
• 1/2 ts salt
• 1/2 ts dill
• 1/4 pepper
• 1/4 Cup red wine vinegar
• 2 Tb sea salt

Mix up the above ingredients. Pour that over tomatoes, red onions and cucumbers. It’s so good even our kids eat it. They like it so much that they dip their bread in it when they’re all done the salad. (If it weren’t for the bread, they’d be drinking the dressing right out of the bowls. Savages they be;-)

As for sandwiches, try this between two slices of toasted bread:

• a pinch of sprouts (or a few slices of red onion if your not keen on sprouts)
• a few avocado slices
• hummus (any flavor)
• tomato slices
• If you eat meat and dairy, you can add the cheese and/or meat of your choice.

If you really want to experiment with avocados, you can make a pretty mean chocolate pudding out of them. No joke. I made pudding out of avocados twice and both times I ate the whole thing by myself within 6 hours. Not good.  I don’t make that recipe anymore but I dare you to try it :-)

So, next time your at the grocery, pick one up, feel your nose, then grab the right one to take home. Once home, try one of the recipes I’ve shared and then let us know what you think.

You have fun.

The whole point of optimizing your health is to live more and experience, well, life. We are all guilty of hopping on the hamster wheel of life. Our careers and basic needs take precedence so often that we sometimes forget to look around and see what else there is to do.

Let me make a suggestion: Water Fire

Ever been? It’s worth the trip.

Before I go on to describe it, I must give credit to my brother-in-law, Jamie. He is the one that introduced us to Water Fire. Jamie also introduced me to Dr. Chris, and licorice tea so, when he recommends something, I take his recommendation.

Throughout the summer and into the fall, Providence, Rhode Island lights their river up with about one hundred bonfires. There are gondola rides under arched bridges, flame throwers, musicians, dancing in the streets, vendors, and the best performers I have seen in one place. The architectural features of the city are highlighted with dramatic up-lighting. It is a joy for all the senses.

Their last full fire of the season is Saturday, October 9. The great thing about the fall Water Fires is that, since it gets dark soon, they begin earlier. If you do attend. Plan on getting their well before dusk because parking can be tough.